


Problem solved

by Lulu_chaos_incarnation



Category: Video Blogging RPF, Who Killed Markiplier? (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Minor Character Death, Murder, Shooting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27657812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lulu_chaos_incarnation/pseuds/Lulu_chaos_incarnation
Summary: DA finds out that some people are blackmailing Damien and threatening to expose his homosexuality to everyone if he doesn't give them $100,000, so DA decides to get involved.
Relationships: Damien | The Mayor/Wilford Warfstache | William J. Barnum | The Colonel, Darkiplier/Wilford Warfstache | William J. Barnum | The Colonel
Comments: 7
Kudos: 46





	Problem solved

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Doctor_Discord](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Discord/gifts).



> This is how my DA looks like (https://lulu-chaos-incarnation.tumblr.com/post/635415404416843776/a-small-drawing-of-my-da-before-wkm-happened)
> 
> Also, before you read this, this fic is a part 3 to a drawing @thomothysdoodles did for whumtober on tumblr and a story that Doctor_discord wrote for said doodle on tumblr
> 
> @thomothysdoodles drawing is https://thomothysdoodles.tumblr.com/post/632239422014914560/click-for-better-quality  
> Doctor_discord's fic is https://doctordiscord123.tumblr.com/post/633590768787931136/dirty-little-secret
> 
> Also also, the DA in this fic is different than the DA in Doc's fic, The DA in this fic is my own version of DA.

Damien entered his office, collapsing onto his chair as he did so. He was so _tired_ from today’s events, he managed to convince his blackmailers to give him a bit more time to give them the money so he could come up with plan to avoid having his secret exposed and paying $100,000 to these guys, but could he really come up with a solid plan by the end of the deadline?

Oh, who was he kidding? He's doomed! He has no idea what to do anymore! He already told the colonel about this, and his reaction was just as panicked as his! Sure, Damien could give them the money, but then they’ll ask for more and more and people will start noticing and it'll become a huge mess. 

He buried his face in his hands before gripping his hair in exasperation, god, this entire situation was just so frustrating! 

Damien hears someone knocking on his door, causing him to quickly fix himself up to look more professional “come in.” 

The DA poked their head through the door carrying two cups of hot chocolate in their hands “Hey dames, I noticed that you’ve been feeling quite stressed lately, so I thought that maybe some hot coco would help you relax a bit.” 

“Oh, thank you, old friend.” The DA hands Damien his cup of hot coco before sitting on his desk cross-legged as they sipped on their own cup of hot coco. 

“...Do you really have to sit on my desk?” 

“There aren't any chairs here, plus, this is more fun.” 

“Good point” Damien took a sip from his cup, relishing at how good it tasted and how warm it was in his hands. Although the hot coco didn’t erase all his worries, it did ease them a bit, and it also helped having his friend sitting in front of him. 

“...so, Dames, what’s wrong?” Damien choked in response to the DA’s question. 

He coughed a bit, the DA patting his back as he did so “What...what do you mean, old friend?” 

The DA raised an eyebrow with a skeptical expression “Don’t try fooling me, Damien, I can tell that there’s something going on with you. You’ve been acting more nervous and skittish than usual, and don’t try to telling me that it’s cause of the election, I know that it’s something else.” 

Damien averted his gaze from the DA’s eyes to look at his cup of hot coco. He didn’t want to worry his friend by telling them about his situation, he _knows_ how protective they are of him considering he’s basically their only friend. 

But...they already know something’s up, and it’s not like he can _lie_ to them, they’re one of the few people who can tell whether he’s hiding something or not. Still, he’s afraid that his friend might do something rash. 

Or maybe, just maybe, the DA’s reaction won’t be as bad as Damien thinks. Yeah! Maybe they’ll take this a lot better than he expects!

* * *

 **_“WHAT?!”_ **

“Calm down, DA! I can’t afford anyone overhearing this!” Damien whisper yelled while gesturing at them to quiet down, not wanting to risk anyone to hear their conversation. 

The DA inhaled sharply, seeming like they were about to murder someone “Damien, you just told me that someone is threatening you and Willaim, did you _seriously_ expect me to be calm about this?!” 

Damien sighed “Honestly, no. But please, at least lower your voice! I don’t want anyone to overhear us.” 

“Fine, it’s just- ugh! the fucking audacity of these guys make me wanna-” The DA made strangling gestures with their hands, showcasing how pissed they were, before just throwing their hands up in frustration. 

Damien sighed “Look, I’m just as upset as you are, but anger won’t help us with this situation, we need to be calm and keep our heads straight.” 

The DA crossed their arms and grumbled something under their breath, they then sighed loudly “Alright fine...neither of us are straight tho.” 

Damien looked at his friend with bewildered expression before shaking his head and covering his eyes with one hand. 

The DA grinned “Come on, you’re smiling.” 

“I am and I hate it.” 

The DA chuckled before their face turned serious “So, do you have a plan?” 

Damien removed his hand from his eyes to look at his friend before he shook his head “No, I don’t. But I did manage to convince them to give me more time to get the money, thing is, if I give them the money, they’ll keep asking for more and more, and then one day I might not be able to pay or people might start getting suspicious as to where all the money is going! I don’t know what to do anymore!” 

The DA hummed, appearing as though they were deep in thought. After a while of pondering, a light bulb lights up in their head and they turn to Damien “Alright, I got an idea, but first, I need to know if your blackmailers were stupid enough to give you their real names.” 

Damien stared at the DA with a quizzical expression “uhhh, yeah, their names were Bill wheats, Lex sparrow, and Howard Sherman. Um, DA, what exactly are you going to do?” 

“ _I_ am going to solve your problem.” the DA got up from the table and made their way to the door. 

Damien got up from his chair and made a dash to stop his friend from exiting his office “ _Wait_ _wait_ _wait!_ that doesn’t answer my question- what are you gonna do?!” 

The DA made their way around Damien and opened the door “Like I said, I’m going to solve your problem, I'll be back soon.” 

With that, the DA shut the door behind them as they made their way out of the building, leaving a perplexed Damien behind.

* * *

“Don’t move or I’ll shoot” 

Breaking into someone’s apartment without them noticing was surprisingly easy for the DA to do. They just needed to climb up the building and go through the window quietly before pointing a gun at the guy’s head, pretty easy. 

They were standing in the living room of one of Damien’s blackmailers, Bill Wheats, who’s currently sitting on an armchair and was listening to the radio or something earlier before they had pulled their gun out on him, making him freeze up in fear. 

“Now listen up here, I don’t wanna hurt you at all, especially since your friends are the ones that I have a bone to pick with. So, here’s the deal, as long as you do exactly as I say, I won’t hurt you, got it?” 

Bill gulped before quickly nodding his head, trembling and breathing heavily from fear. 

The DA smiled “Good, now here’s what I want you to do” They gestured their hand towards Bill’s phone that was sitting on a nearby table. “I want you to call your two little buddies, Lex and Howard, and tell them to meet you at the abandoned Pizzaria close to the town’s outskirts to discuss something real important, and don’t try anything funny.” 

Bill got up and made his way over to the phone with the DA right behind him with their gun. He picked up the phone and dialed Lex’s and Howard’s home phones with shaky hands. When they picked up, Bill proceeded to tell them what the DA told him to say and made sure that his tone was calm enough to not cause suspicion for his friends. 

When he was done, he placed the phone back where it was and turned around to face the DA, who was wearing a bandana to cover half of their face “There! I-I did what you wanted me to do, will you leave now?” 

They hummed “Hmm, I guess so, but only after you do one more thing for me. I want you to close your eyes and count down from 30, when you open your eyes again, I’ll be gone and it’ll be like waking up from a bad dream.” 

“O-Okay” Bill closed his eyes tightly and started counting down from 30 as the DA moved to Bill’s right while aiming their gun at the right side of his head “30, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25-” 

Bill didn’t get to finish counting before a gunshot sounded from the DA’s gun, killing him instantly. 

The Da watched with cold eyes as Bill’s lifeless body dropped onto floor, blood dripping from where they shot him and staining the floor red. 

They crouched down and rearranged Bill’s hand into holding their gun, they were really glad that they had worn their gloves before coming here. They then stood up and placed the fake suicide note on a nearby table before making their way to the apartment’s window to leave. 

They had two more problems left to take care of.

* * *

The DA slammed their trunk’s door shut, panting heavily from exhaustion, who knew that carrying two dead bodies into your trunk could leave you so out of breath? 

The DA wiped their hands on their shirt before making their way to their car’s front seat. They opened their car door and sat down inside, letting out a small sigh after closing the door and leaning against their chair. 

“...ah fuck, I still need to bury them. Goddamn it.” The DA frowned; even though they usually like doing things by themselves, they do wish that they had someone to help them with this since they knew that burying two bodies was going to take a lot of time and energy, and that they were gonna be exhausted as fuck by the time they’re done. 

The DA perked up as an idea lit up in their head “Oh! I know! I could call Dames for help and...” Their smile fell as realization hit them. 

How are they going to tell Damien about this? 

It’s not like they could just come up to him and say ‘hey dames, I just murdered 3 people, wanna help me bury their bodies?’ no, well, technically yes, they could tell him like that, but he’d probably react very badly if they did. 

Does he even need to know? 

The DA started biting their hand in thought, sure, it’d be nice to have someone help them bury the bodies, but they could do it on their own if they wanted to, so should they keep it a secret? Or should they tell him about it? 

... 

The DA stopped biting their hand and turned their car on to drive away to bury the bodies somewhere no one will be able to find. 

They _know_ what type of person Damien is, yes, he’d probably help them bury the bodies and not call the cops on them because 1. People will start suspecting whether he should or should not be mayor due to having a seriel killer as a previous friend and 2. He’s a loyal friend and would do anything to help his friends and keep them out of harm’s way. 

But...Damien’s also a man with morals, pure as the driven snow, and always wanting to do what’s right no matter what. 

He’d be _horrified_ if he found out his friend was a serial killer. 

So no, Damien doesn’t need to know about this. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! If you found any spelling mistakes or grammer errors, please tell me.


End file.
